circus

dear daisy,

stars. well you know what miss daisy? i guess i was destined to know celebrities, stars, and meteors (and i've surely met a few meteors), but anyway daisy, i remember so well that time that daddy took all us boys to greensboro, north carolina to the barnum and bailey circus ... we were all so excited ... i guess i had never been to the really big circus like that one before, but anyway, i wasn't too impressed with it, even though there was this and that, animal and part-animal, clown after clown (and i haven't liked a fuckin' clown since that day). but i'll tell you what, that was a very special day for me 'cause that's the day i met my first star ... ever.

i kept noticing this beautiful lady sittin' in front of me, with white teased hair, unbelievable legs, and she had this way about her, this starlight, this way she crossed her legs and a way in which she tilted her head ... i watched her all the way during the circus acts ... but never thought she was somebody, just thought her black dress was absolutely fine ... like the perfect black dress mama was always lookin' for but could never find ... so during the clown clappin' ... i reached over and said, "howdy ma'am, i know this ain't the kind of question you're used to gettin', but where did you buy that black dress, 'cause my mama and i have been lookin' far and wide for that same black dress. well, it's been in my mind for years, and it just can't be found, and i tried to explain the cut to aint maimi who sews for mama but she didn't get it sewn right ... so if you don't mind tellin' me where you got it, i'd be very appreciative, thank you ma'am."...

and she smiled the biggest smile, and said, "dahling, that's the greatest compliment i've ever gotten from a man in my entire life. men usually don't notice what i wear, they notice usually what's in the dress."

and i blushed. and daddy told me to shut up and before i knew it she was helped away, and i thought maybe i'd done something wrong, but before i knew it, there she came out of the shadows, ridin' high on a big elephant, and the circus show was just about over, and the loud speaker said, "ladies and gentlemen! boys and girls!...miss jayne mansfield!"

and i could've died right then and there. well of course it was miss mansfield. good god, look at those titties ... and before i knew i was staring, she was brought right back to her seat ... and i blushed, and leaned over and asked her for her autograph, and she signed it right then and there, and then she whispered, "i don't know where this dress came from. i don't really know where any of my dresses come from, they just come."

and you know what daisy? the first time i came, i was thinking of her ... and the first time i made one-hundred dollars was when i sold her autograph to some rich boy from richmond at boy scout camp, years later ... and the first time i cried over the death of a star was the day the news came over the tv that she had lost her head.

love,

jerry